From the Woot.com home page, a prescient product description:
>All Tomorrow’s LAN Parties
>Boy, the aphids are bad this year. Look at these turnips. At this rate, we’ll be lucky if there’s any left for the Harvest Feast. Well, hand me that cottonseed oil. Let’s see if it’ll keep them away this time.
>What? Oh, yeah, sure, I remember the Crash. I was 14, 15 when it all went down: the oil running out, the oceans rising, the 2nd Civil War. I’ll never forget those Chinese peacekeeping troops rolling a tank right down the main corridor of the Oakwoods Galleria. I was at this place called GameZone, looking at these things called video games. Oh, you’ve heard about video games, huh? Yeah, us old-timers used to spend a lot of time talking about video games around the village fire.
>It sounds funny now, but I was going to be a professional video-game player. That very day, I’d scraped up some of the Old Dollars to buy a pair of Everglide S-500 Professional Headphones. See, wanna-be pro gamers like me would wear these things over our ears, so we could hear our game and not the guy’s next to us. So I was looking for a pair that would fit over my ears and shut everything out – something huge, like these Everglide S-500s. They sounded great for games, and had a decent frequency response for music, too. I bought them after I spent, like, days figuring out which headphones were going to help me make a living playing video games.
>It’s funny what people used to get paid to do, huh? And funny what people used to consider important.
>Ah, well. You could drive yourself crazy wrestling with memories of the old world. Look at old Barry Gomez, sitting at that bus stop on the town square like it’s going to rumble down the road any minute. No, those days are over. You missed it, kid. Now let’s get back to tending these turnips.