Bush and Sons, General Contractors

Call Me Fishmeal.: “And of course, there was the damage to the area around the toilet caused by old Jim Blackwater. Oh, yah, I totally agree, I’m not even gonna argue — he is one creepy dude. I’ll give you that. I’m not gonna pull yer leg, Mrs. Ross — he’s not really a contractor. No license, no nothing. He’s just a drifter who really likes tools, but he was too kooky to ever get a license. But, you know, recently we’ve been a bit short on men, so we thought, hey, he has his own hammer, and chances are good that at least SOME of the things he’ll hit with it will be nails, so, why the heck not? I mean, it’s not our money we’re spending, so you can see our thought process, right? Look, I’m real sorry if he’s been givin’ your daughter the creepy eye, but to be fair you gotta admit she shows a lot of leg for a 15-year-old.”

The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs: “So, fair enough. Bring on the big media cluster fuck. Roll out all the different systems that don’t work together. Bring on all the different kinds of software, none of which will work as well as iTunes. Bring on a zillion different user interfaces, a zillion accounts you need to set up, a zillion new usernames and passwords and a list of which services can work on which devices in which format. Right. When you’re good and tired of that, we’ll be here waiting for you.”

: “The Stanley multi-function pen has a black ballpoint, a 0.7 lead mechanical pencil, an orange highlighter, and a stylus for PDAs crammed inside its tape-measure-inspired body, for which you’ll pay a punitive $60 should you need something to brag about to the other foremen.”

Boing Boing: “A veterinarian was surprised to pull a 7-inch long toy lizard out of a 12-inch long lizard that had eaten it.”

GO Blog: “This month’s store: Springfield’s own CD Warehouse, which appeared in our recent Hot List Issue and is one of GO’s top distribution spots. It’s brief but well-earned notoriety for Michael and his crew”